Sorry

I feel so much guilt,

For the mistake I did,

You are my love,

And I made you cry,

I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart.

I confess I am weak,

I messed up that time,

Got my heart full of greed,

Wanted more than I need,

I let you down, and I feel it deep within me.

I know sorry can't fully make up for what I did,

So, I am ready to bend down on knees,

To seek apology for the crime I committed,

Punish me as hard as you can,

But please don’t stop loving me for God sake.

I try so hard to hope that you always see,
How much you being in my life mean to me.
You are everything I think about,

Everything I need, everything I want.

Forgive me as I promise to never do this again.

And I saw her ....

And I saw her today

She was looking different

A mask is covering all of her innocence

Like before, her eyes were not talking to my soul

Lips were moving but not for me

She was drunk but not in her original way

Fingers were creeping but not on my hand

She was constantly denying my presence

But my heart was floating within the ranges of tides

Together, we shared many laughs and moments of joy,

Now she is laughing by making fun of me among her friends.

I wondered, why she has changed

My newness has faded, Is that the reason?

But still, my heart constantly jumping to the throat around her

I am choosing her, day after day

It’s difficult to speak to an unfeeling stone, to weep in front of its blank face.

I constantly imagine footsteps, as if she is running to comfort me.  
I know it's just my mind, but my heart gives way to hope.

She & I . . .

She illuminates the world with the reflected light of full moon night,

I am the darkness of a new moon night.

She is the evening of Paris,

I am the dawn of Banaras.

She has all the colors of the rainbow in her life,

I have a life full of black color type.

She is strong as a rock,

I am weak as molten iron.

She only checks,

I always love.

She is euphoric,

I am melancholic. 

She has a milky white complexion that would put Photoshop a shame,

I am covered with few last ashes of carbon coming out of flame.

She is a river, meandering in and out of my heart,

I am so deserted that she never gives a thought.

She is a goddamn goddess and so hard to describe,

I am way out of her league.  

She is my life,

I am not of her type.

But still “She” & “I” exist in distorted manner,

Trying to become “We” in some sorted manner.

            

Glimpses of 2013

As December of 2013 is fading away and a New Year is about to hit the clock, I am remembering the moments which I lived in last 12 months. I will always remember 2013 as a “Turning Point” for my life. When this year started I was full of grit and determination to achieve the goals I set for myself. I was highly motivated having a clear roadmap for whole year.

I was cultivating my dreams from last 10 years and first two months of this year were part of that cultivation process. But divine forces of this universe have some other plans for my life. March was the month that changed everything in my life including my identity. How rightly said “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it”; that exactly what happened to me. A decade passed away by holding a dream but just a single incident changed all that.

I am still not sure whether it was a right decision to change the path of life or not. But all I know is that now I am a different person and actually I am in love with this new identity. May be I just overrated everything and took some wrong steps but this is the time to move ahead on the current path as I am the only one who chooses this way. This was the year to ask questions from myself consisting of many what’s, why’s , How’s, etc. and every answer has its core idea of ‘Never Give up’ approach.  

Flashbacks of 2013 reminds me of moments full of excitements, fun, love, lies, promises, sorrow, drives, meetings, emotions, hopes, prays, care, losing self-control, sleepless nights, getting mad, laughing and trying a ‘new’ thing, learning new ‘words’. The better part of year was too good to over cover all the sorrowful dark days. I am thankful to God for giving me all these vibrant colors of life and also an amazing individual ‘M’.

It is worth to mention here that this year also changed my taste for literature. Even I wrote poem for the very first time in life. More accomplishments were getting published and to get associated with some major media portals.

It gives me pain to think about all those friends of mine who ditched me or get separated from me for some unknown reasons.  I am also the reason for some broken friendships as I was running for something to badly that I never even bothered about other things.

Apart from my personal life, Sachin Tendulkar’s retirement and making of Arvind Kejriwal led AAP government in Delhi are the stories that touched my heart. Also watching 'Raanjhanaa' was an indescribable experience. 

Nobody is perfect, neither me nor you so it’s time to say sorry to all whom I hurt knowingly or unknowingly and many thanks to others for giving me moments of joy.

Special thanks to God for sending his envoy to add colors into my life, for transforming my passion and for everything else that happened to me. I am blessed by your move as I have a strong belief that my prayers will never go in vain and The major turnaround which my life took in this current year will take me to some good heights and will prove all my decisions correct.

I hope the upcoming year will bring more joy in everybody’s life and make the world prosperous for living.

Happy New Year!!

Still.. I am in you !!

Sparsh, a low profile average looking undesirable guy losing his ground on the tough path of love. He is too tired of trying and unable to prove his worth in front of Shinaya, a girl full of indescribable beauty.  

I still remember the time

When you were mine.

Now time has changed, so as you

What remains unchanged is spark of your shine.

Everyday I wake up with a hope

Whole day passes down by finding the scope.

Sometimes I feel I’m all done and tired of trying

In the end I find this struggle worthy as you are in my soul.

I am old fashioned as I take relationships seriously

I act and pretend like full of curiosity.

I am not perfect and I don’t deserve an Angel like you

But I am all yours sincerely.

I get jealous I get mad

I do care as you are my fate.

I don’t want anyone else to find out how amazing you really are

As I’m living a dream to be your life mate.

We met accidently for a reason

Pretty early I felt for you as it was a love season.

Whole world conspired me to realize you are not worthy enough for this feeling

But I continue of trying hard to prove you a blessing rather than a lesson.

Many times I stumbled, trembled and felt unsecure

I have been lied to and get hurt on this detour.

Moments came when my mind finds its over

Persistence is all my heart learned by keeping me endure.

Oh’ Girl please understand the things from my side too

I don’t know the dirty tricks to make you woo.

No mind games and no lies is the key of honest relationship

My worst fear is losing you so give me a chance as I don’t deserve a queue.

You possess an Angelic twinkle

Sunshine smile of yours gives my heart love sprinkle.

Even a thought of you is enough to drive me crazy

Come to me baby, my earth has stopped moving and heart is tired of getting wrinkled.

I have a dream to be with you

Love is too weak a word for what I feel for you.

You have bewitched my body and soul

Just give me sign so that I can follow the avenue.

I have decided to stick with the path of loving you

I just hate the idea of anyone else having you.

Miracles do happen every day and I just need one for me

As still… I am in you !!