Sorry

I feel so much guilt,

For the mistake I did,

You are my love,

And I made you cry,

I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart.

I confess I am weak,

I messed up that time,

Got my heart full of greed,

Wanted more than I need,

I let you down, and I feel it deep within me.

I know sorry can't fully make up for what I did,

So, I am ready to bend down on knees,

To seek apology for the crime I committed,

Punish me as hard as you can,

But please don’t stop loving me for God sake.

I try so hard to hope that you always see,
How much you being in my life mean to me.
You are everything I think about,

Everything I need, everything I want.

Forgive me as I promise to never do this again.

Why I write ?

It has been long enough I haven't written anything. I tried my best to pursue this art of mine but got failed every time. Why? Why I am unable to convey in words about what I actually feel? Have I lost that art of putting everything into words? Or Have I lost all my emotions and became tough? From last few days I am asking all these questions from myself.

To find out all the answers today I travelled back into that time when I wrote my first poem. I started writing to put out all my emotions into papers. There are times that push you to write, emotions have to ooze out that you just cannot contain them. Feelings are everywhere and there is an urgency to share, to put it down. Isn’t writing so beautiful? It is so pure, it is real and it is for an eternity.

Writing is the shortest way to seek peace. While writing you always talk to yourself, there are several questions you ask from yourself and you seek their answers within self. Several thoughts bombarded into your minds, eyes get covered with flashbacks and you start travelling on the wonderful path consisting of imaginary scenes. While writing you can design your own world, you can explore all the things for which you are afraid of, you can write to be the characters that you are not and most importantly you can write to give yourself strength. Writing gives you courage to spell out everything without even worrying about other’s consent. You write and other people follow you.

There are several topics on which you can write like about your dreams, passion, love, history, current happenings, etc but the basic ingredient of writing is inspiration. You must possess some inspiration to write, without inspiration it is very tough to design your inner thoughts. Luckily I had that inspiration with me when I wrote my first poem but unfortunately with time it faded away and so as my reason to write. But I will write, I have to write, just to keep my promise alive.

People come and go but in words you can keep them close to yourself forever. Memory too, faded away with time but with words you can keep moments alive. While writing you can paint a picture of your's with the one who gives you the sheer happiness of the world. You can stare on those well crafted words with a thought "Sometimes, you just look at things you know you can never have....".

Glimpses of 2013

As December of 2013 is fading away and a New Year is about to hit the clock, I am remembering the moments which I lived in last 12 months. I will always remember 2013 as a “Turning Point” for my life. When this year started I was full of grit and determination to achieve the goals I set for myself. I was highly motivated having a clear roadmap for whole year.

I was cultivating my dreams from last 10 years and first two months of this year were part of that cultivation process. But divine forces of this universe have some other plans for my life. March was the month that changed everything in my life including my identity. How rightly said “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it”; that exactly what happened to me. A decade passed away by holding a dream but just a single incident changed all that.

I am still not sure whether it was a right decision to change the path of life or not. But all I know is that now I am a different person and actually I am in love with this new identity. May be I just overrated everything and took some wrong steps but this is the time to move ahead on the current path as I am the only one who chooses this way. This was the year to ask questions from myself consisting of many what’s, why’s , How’s, etc. and every answer has its core idea of ‘Never Give up’ approach.  

Flashbacks of 2013 reminds me of moments full of excitements, fun, love, lies, promises, sorrow, drives, meetings, emotions, hopes, prays, care, losing self-control, sleepless nights, getting mad, laughing and trying a ‘new’ thing, learning new ‘words’. The better part of year was too good to over cover all the sorrowful dark days. I am thankful to God for giving me all these vibrant colors of life and also an amazing individual ‘M’.

It is worth to mention here that this year also changed my taste for literature. Even I wrote poem for the very first time in life. More accomplishments were getting published and to get associated with some major media portals.

It gives me pain to think about all those friends of mine who ditched me or get separated from me for some unknown reasons.  I am also the reason for some broken friendships as I was running for something to badly that I never even bothered about other things.

Apart from my personal life, Sachin Tendulkar’s retirement and making of Arvind Kejriwal led AAP government in Delhi are the stories that touched my heart. Also watching 'Raanjhanaa' was an indescribable experience. 

Nobody is perfect, neither me nor you so it’s time to say sorry to all whom I hurt knowingly or unknowingly and many thanks to others for giving me moments of joy.

Special thanks to God for sending his envoy to add colors into my life, for transforming my passion and for everything else that happened to me. I am blessed by your move as I have a strong belief that my prayers will never go in vain and The major turnaround which my life took in this current year will take me to some good heights and will prove all my decisions correct.

I hope the upcoming year will bring more joy in everybody’s life and make the world prosperous for living.

Happy New Year!!

Hold My Hand

Sparsh & Shinaya got together during the early Spring days. Season's cycle is in its last quarter and Sparsh is pretty sure Shinaya will never let him fall away in spite of the fact that she is just untouched till now with all his efforts....!!

During the early spring season

You entered in my life for a reason.

We had lot of talks 

And silently love emerges on the walks.

You warned me not to fall in the flow

But you yourself allowed it to grow.

Suddenly we both fell into the trap

Love was all around having eyes covered with strap.

I was so happy after getting you

It was an unforeseen dream which came true.

Good days wont lasts as all is flux nothing stays still

You went away breaking all the promises against my will.

Since then I have been running so long

Winter came keeping me all alone.

Still there remains lot of moisture in my eyes

But you are just untouched ignoring all my tries.

May be I have made lot of mistakes

But I always try to give you my best.

Never mind in losing all the argument with you just to avoid fight

Being with you in every situation is all my plight.

You have added colors to my life 

Like an ink drop does with water light.

You are the only one with whom I have walked that extra mile

As you are the only reason I have to smile.

It hurts me a lot

When you treat me like an ordinary odd.

Are those "effects" not enough for you to make me feel special

Or you have someone else more influential.

Sudden flashbacks reminds me of those amazing days

I wonder will ever be able to live them again in ways.

Not sure of anything as mist of confusion surrounds

But all I need is fragrance of you all around.

Your behavior is making me shattered

May be you find my emotions fractured.

But I promise I would love fighting with you

Rather than loving someone else more than you.

Don't have any idea how long I will be able to continue with the flow

I am very much tired and ready to melt like snow.

One day my eyes will get close and this journey will get end

But I am sure before that you will Hold my Hand !!